Mummers' Plays have been performed in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland for hundreds of years. They are folk dramas based on the legend of St. George and the Seven Champions of Christendom. They were originally mime or dumb shows (Thus
mummers from the Middle English word mum, meaning silent.) where all the performers were disguised and known as
'Guisers'. All the characters were played by men who kept the same part for many years. Eventually, dialogue was added, but was passed on by word-of-mouth. Consequently, the 'Chinese Whispers' effect over the centuries and the loss of the real significance of the original story, makes present day performances very entertaining but virtually meaningless to most audiences.
The principal characters are St. George (�of dragon fame.), Captain
Slasher, The Turkish Knight, The King of Egypt, Doctor and several men-at-arms who challenge St. George to a duel and are subsequently slain. The Doctor enters and demonstrates his skill by resuscitating the dead knights.
Many historians believe that this drama is a celebration of the death of the year and its resurrection in the Spring.
Up to the turn of the last century it had always been the custom in our village for young men to perform a mummers' play on New Year's Day. We know this because the Reverend John Octavious
Coussmaker, Rector of Saint Michael's church from 1884 to 1921, recorded the details in the year 1900, suspecting that this tradition might die out. .
'Sixteen years ago, it was the usual custom on New Year's Day for one's hall door to be suddenly thrown open, without any knocking, ringing or other ceremony, and five or six young men dressed in any eccentric or gay clothing they could get hold of (An old soldier's coat was especially prized), would enter in and then proceed to act a little rough play in the hall. They were always careful not to do any harm, though they pretended to be very wild fellows indeed.
'After a year or two they ceased to come, and their place was taken by a few village school boys, and now these are all grown up and have left the village, and the mummers come no more. Seeing that the custom was likely to die out, like may other relics of the past, I obtained the following words of the play, which I here append. In one or two places the meaning is not very clear, but I write it down as it was given to me, knowing that in the text of the Greek Testament the more difficult reading is usually the more correct one, we may well lose some valuable old allusion.'
Bulgard
In comes Bulgard. Bulgard is my name
I've just sprang from the English Channel again
I've come to search this nation round and round
And if I can find Saint George I'll give ten thousand pounds
Speaker
Saint George? Saint George stands at the door
With his bright buckle sword by his side
He swears that he will tan thy hide
Enter Saint George
Saint George
In comes Saint George
The noble champion bold
With my bright sword and buckle by my side.
I won three crowns of gold
Bulgard
What three crowns of gold didst thou win?
Saint George
I won the emer-she-mer, sham-mer rock-a
I didst slay seven Turks and brought them to the slaughter
And by means of this and that
I won the King of Egypt's daughter.
For a fair body or to fly
Or to conquer or to die
Tip, tap, art thou a prisoner
Tap, tap, art thou a rocky stone?
Think I come here to be cut down like a dog?
Bulgard
Yes
Saint George
Show me the man that dare before me stand
I neither care for thee, nor thy bright sword in hand
Pray what bold art thou?
Bulgard
I am the Turkish champion,
From Turkeyland I came
I come to fight the daring Saint,
George they call his name
And if he calls himself the champion,
I think myself as good
And before I would surrender
I would lose my precious blood
Saint George
Stir up the fire and make a light
And see Saint George and the Turkey fight
The hour is gone
The clock's struck one
Tip, tap, bodge
They fight and Bulgard falls.
Enter King of Egypt
King of Egypt
Saint George, Saint George, what hast thou done?
Thou hast killed and slain my elder son!
Five pounds for a doctor
Doctor
No five pounds Doctor.
King of Egypt
Ten pounds.
Doctor
Here I be!
King of Egypt
What can you cure Doctor?
Doctor
I can cure the itch, the stitch,
The palsy and the gout.
If there's ninety nine diseases in
I'm bound to fetch a hundred out.
I have in my pocket crutches for lame ducks
Spectacles for blind bumble bees
And plaisters for broken-backed mice
I cured Saint Harry of an agony
A hundred yards long
So surely I can cure this poor man
Here Jack, take a sup from my nip-nap.
Rise and walk.
I've cured this man all safe and sound
I've healed his wound and quenched his blood
And he is the best man that ever stood
Bulgard
Oh, my back.
Doctor
What's amiss with thy back, Jack?
Bulgard
My back is wounded,
My heart is confounded,
To be knocked out of life of seven senses into fourscore,
The like was never seen in old England before.
Then hark, Saint George! I hear the silver trumpets sounding,
Down yonder is the way
So farewell Saint George, I can no longer stay
Bulgard dies.
Exit King of Egypt and Doctor
Saint George goes over to Bulgard and puts his foot on his chest.
Saint George
Here am I, Saint George, a noble champion bold;
And with my broad and glittering sword
I won ten thousand pounds in gold.
It was I who fought the fiery dragon, and its father I don't fear,
But through his heart I ran my dreadful spear.
I've searched the whole world round,
And a man to equal me I've never found
If you can't believe the word I say,
Enter in, you Prince of Paradise! And clear the way!
Enter Prince of Paradise
Prince of Paradise
Here am I, the Prince of Paradise, born of high renown
Soon I'll fetch Saint George's courage down
Before Saint George shall be deceived by me
Saint George shall die to all eternity
Saint George
Stand off, thou black Moroccon dog, or by my sword thou die
I'll make thy body full of holes and make thy buttons fly
Prince of Paradise
Pull out thy purse to pay,
Draw out thy sword and slay,
For I mean to have some recompense
Before I go away
Saint George
Now, black Prince of Paradise, where hast thou been?
And pray what fine sights hast thou seen?
Lay down thy sword, take up thy spear,
And I'll fight thee without dread or fear.
They fight and the Prince of Paradise killed
Saint George
Now black Prince of Paradise is dead
And all his glories entirely fled
Take him and give him to the flies
And never more come near my eyes
Enter King of Egypt
King of Egypt
I am the King of Egypt, who plainly doth appear
I'm come to seek my only son, who feels a little queer
Saint George
He's slain.
King of Egypt
Who did him slay? Who did him kill?
Saint George
I did him slay, I did him kill,
And on the ground his precious blood did spill
Please you, my lord, my honour to maintain,
Had you been here you might have shared the same
Enter Hector
King of Egypt
Oh Hector! Oh Hector! Haste with speed,
For in my life I never stood in more need;
And don't stand there with sword in hand,
But use and fight at my command.
Hector
Yes, Yes my Lord, I will obey,
And with my sword I mean to win the day
If that be he that does stand there,
That killed my master's son and heir,
Though he be sprung with royal blood,
I'll make it flow enormous flood.
Saint George
Oh Hector! Oh Hector! Do not be so hot,
For in this room thou little think'st whom thou has got,
For I can deprive thee of this pride
And lay thy anger to aside;
Slay thee and cut thee as small as flies
And send thee overseas to make mince pies
Hector
How can'st thou deprive me of my pride?
Or lay my anger to aside?
Since my head is made of iron,
My body's made of steel,
My hands and feet are knuckle and bone
I'll challenge you to feel
They fight and Hector is fatally wounded
Hector
I am a gallant knight, and Hector is my name,
Many battles have I fought, and always won the game,
But from Saint George I received this wound.
Then hark Saint George! I hear the silver trumpets sound
Down yonder is the way
Farewell Saint George, I can no longer stay.
Hector dies.
Enter Bold Old Bill
Bold Old Bill
Here comes past Bold Old Bill!
Saint George
Why Master, did I ever take thee to be my friend?
Bold Old Bill
Why Jack, did I ever do thee any harm?
Saint George
Thou proud, saucy cockscomb, begone!
Bold Old Bill
Cockscomb! I defy that name.
With a sword though oughtest to be stabbed for the same.
Saint George
To be stabbed is the least I fear,
Appoint your time and place, I'll meet you there.
I'll cross the field at the hour of five
And I'll meet you there, if thou be'st alive.
Bold Old Bill
If you can't believe the word I say
Enter in Old Beelzebub and clear the way.
Enter Beelzebub
Beelzebub
Here am I old Beelzebub
And over my shoulder I carry my club
And in my hand a dripping pan
I think myself a jolly old man
Down in the meadows, where the birds sing funny
Ladies and gentlemen, please fill our ladles with money
The ladles are dumb and cannot speak
So fill them full, for Saint George's sake.
The Mummers go among the audience collecting money with their pans.
When the collecting is finished they exit together, singing the "Ring Tink Tink" song.
With a ring tink tink and a sup more drink,
We'll make the old bell sound.
A merry Christmas to you all
May happiness abound.
The verse is repeated until all the Mummers have gone and the door is closed.
