THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

To the tune of "The Day We Went To Bangor"

(A chorus can be created by repeating the last two lines.)

 

Didn't we have
A lovely time
At the office Christmas party
Drunk as a skunk
On some 'orrible plonk
Donated by the Sales Director
Dancing up close
And eyeing up those
We'd fancied all the season
While the girls and the boys
Made a terrible noise
As the booze went down

Jennifer's bloke
Had purchased some coke
And shoved it up his nostrils
He never thought
That the sustance he'd bought
Was half an ounce of curry powder
He took a snort
Which rapidly brought
A change to his complexion
So he quickly withdrew
To the gentlemen's loo
And they flushed him down

Oliver Ross
The regional boss
Came in from engineering
Trying to look slick
With some sexy young chick
He'd picked up in the sales department
He didn't know
The naughty bimbo
Was Kate the chairman's daughter
'Til her daddy came back
Just to give him the sack
What a big put down

Two silly pratts
Came over from stats.
And both as kissed as armholes
Groping around
Every girl that they found
Looking for a Christmas garter
Adrian Bragg
Was dressed up in drag
Just for the occasion
But they got a suprise
When the tickled his thighs
And his skirt fell down

Rosemary Gray
The boss's P.A.
Was dressed as Father Christmas
Slit up her skirt
And a transparent shirt
With sequins in the vital places
Rosie was caught
With Oliver Short
In the ladies rest room
Doing something obscene
On the vending machine
Hanging up-side-down

Timothy Groves
Discarded his clothes
And played his ukulele
Sat with a smile
On a cabinet file
Gently swinging to the music
Having a ball
With songs to recall
Those jolly days of Christmas
When Barbara Moore
Slammed the cabinet door
And the tears rolled down


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